That is legitimately the actual tag line for Problem Child. A former staple of the TBS, TNT and USA network weekend movie circuit. I cannot tell you how many times I watched that movie, sometimes more than once in a weekend. However, until today I never intentionally viewed it. Like, I never saw that it was coming up and made a note to watch it, nor did I ever attempt to rent it. It was always just on. Those are the days of yore.
I was always aware of Seinfeld‘s Cosmo Kramer’s appearance in this film, but until today, when Comcast posted it in the “Free Movie” section On Demand, I had NO IDEA that Michael Fishman who starred as D.J. Connor in Roseanne also did. And guess what his role is? He was the perfect child that gets adopted as we see Junior (soon to be Junior Healy) mopping the floor in the orphanage. And now it makes me happy to imagine Jack Tripper and Dan & Roseanne discussing how they adopted their sons from the same children’s home. Oh, and how the Bowtie Killer turned out to be a racist.