I Hate You, Comcast

Thanks a lot for this new game we’re playing where you go in and out of reception. If you’re broken, just GO ALL THE WAY OUT, instead of this “it’s ok now- fuck, no, it just went to black- ok it’s back, settle in- nope, gone again- ok, wait, here- nope, gone- wow, gone for five minutes this time” game we’ve been playing for days now. Comcast, do you know what it’s like to devote yourself to a 12 hour Lord of The Rings marathon on TNT, only to have Return of the King play hopscotch with a black screen for four hours? I’ll tell you what it’s like- it’s ALMOST as frustrating as trying to piece together the last ten minutes of Lost, aka THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF LOST.

I really seriously wish you were dead. Actually, no. I wish that you were alive but on the brink of death and the doctor kept coming in to the room to say, “You’re not going to die.” And then again five minutes later with, “You’re going to die, pretty sure.” And then, “Nope, fine.” “Sorry about that, you ARE dying after all.” And have this go on for as long as I deem necessary, you merciless bastard.

I have no job, Comcast, no money and my dog has lost interest in me. TV is all I have and you’re fucking it up.

– Judi

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