Beal is grappling with a Lifetime addiction. I say EMBRACE IT. Reach out and wrap your arms around Meredith, Markie, and Marcia. Enfold Harry Hamlin and Christine Lahti in warmth and love. Say “yes we can” to titles like “She’s Too Young” and “You’ll Never Take My Daughter Alive” and “Willing to Kill”*. Applaud, hopefully for the first time, unexpected teen pregnancy and suicide pacts and anorexia and co-ed call girls. Continue supporting Tori and Dean in ALL their endeavors. In fact, support all the non-name actors who fill the small screen in these movies made cheaply in Canada.
Not sure where to begin? I AM HERE TO HELP. Start with this one, one of my all-time favorites.
Let me spell this out for you. A-N-N-E H-E-C-H-E. When I saw she was in this, I clapped. I actually clapped by myself in my house. No one commits to the crazy melodrama like Heche. It’s like watching a high school drama student audition for Juliard, only with ratty hair, headshots printed from Kinkos and a dash of pure crazy. When she grabs Veronica Mars and wrestles her to the kitchen floor while Grandma whimpers in the background, you’re not sure whether to laugh or cry. Such is the power of Heche. Veronica Mars looks genuinely scared in that scene. I wish this one came with Commentary- I’d love to find out if that little number was improvised.
Other great things. Kristen Bell awkwardly stealing hamburgers from rich people. A “let’s make the house look nice” montage that almost makes you forget they now live in a crack den. Watching a judge actually contemplate giving custody to Heche. It’s all so so good.
* I made up one of these titles. Guess which one.