Rehab via Profiler

Well, I had every intention of cutting back on television due to my apparent addiction to the Lifetime network. I thought it best to just cut myself off cold turkey, return to the television set when I felt strong enough to not flip immediately to a sappy afternoon movie. Oh how happy those make me. At any rate, my detox was cut short when a special package arrived in the mail.

profiler-show

Profiler Season 1 arrived yesterday. O!M!G! 

Now, I watched this show when it aired on NBC from 1996 – 2000, and occasionally I would catch a rerun on A&E. However, until now I was never (as my adult self) able to sit down and enjoy this twisted ass premise until now.

So get this:

Sam Waters (Ally Walker)  is an FBI profiler, like the best one ever. She’s not psychic necessarily, but she has an extraordinary gift. When she sees a crime scene, she can imagine almost exactly what took place, which the viewer gets to see in black and white, grainy, blood stained flashback cuts. Her real talent though, is profiling the victim and then the assailant so as to narrow down who might have done such atrocious things–and atrocious they are, this show makes even the latter years of SVU seem like episodes of Ghost Writer. It also features like, half the cast of Nip/Tuck.

But that’s not all. In addition to a one hour here’s the crime, here’s the suspects, plot twist, got the guy, roll credits we also have a continuing saga in Sam’s life. Apparently, at some juncture, a serial killer she was investigating became aware of her crazy profilin style, considering her his one and only intellectual equal, he made a game out of fucking with her. She pulled herself off the case, and he murdered her husband. She retired from the FBI and went into hiding (only Agent Bailey Malone knew her whereabouts). And wouldn’t you know it, episode one, ol’ Bailey needs some help finding a serial killer, that may or may not be the resurfaced Jack of All Trades.

Hmmm, who would this most torment on a total emotional and psychological level?. . . Sam?! I should go by her house. Consider this fantastic crime drama, initiated.

–BEAL

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