Proof That TV Gods Exist

by Beal

The following incident is true, and amazing. . .

One evening last week, I reached the end of the proverbial television sidewalk. There was NOTHING on. A bad night I guess. No good reruns, nothing unwatched on the DVR and nothing even remotely interesting on the Freak Show channels (TLC, Discovery Health etc.). Seriously, I couldn’t even find a Law & Order spinoff. 

Of course there is always On Demand, which I perused and found nothing of interest. It too was chock-full of visual swill. However, as I was glancing through the free movie section one flick at a time, reading whom each movie starred, I came across something starring Ms. Cybill Shepherd. OH MY GOD I KNOW WHAT I WANT TO WATCH!


Cybill!!! A mid-90’s gem starring, obviously, fuckin Cybill Shepherd (television royalty) as a washed up actress (herself?) who lives with her stuntman ex-husband and dark daughter (Alicia Witt–who I cannot separate from this role. Regardless of what she’s ever starred in, she will always be “the daughter from Cybill” to me) somewhere in the hills of sunny L.A. And Maryann!! Fucking Maryann! Cybill’s boozed up best friend and legitimately one of the funniest characters ever on television. She’s like the only American Absolutely Fabulous-esque character that ever worked.

Anyway, I knew I was out of luck. This isn’t the type of show they put on DVD nor the type of show you’d pay for if they put it on DVD. But I really really wanted to watch it. It had been years, and I remembered it being funny, but I wanted to view it as an adult who had recently seen what washed up in L.A. looked like for real. I even had a gchat conversation regarding this matter, and how much I wanted to watch this program, only to be regarded as sad and over-televisioned.

And then it happened, a week later, last night. I got home from work (don’t worry about it) around midnight, watched a movie and then began surfing through the channels. Staple networks like Hallmark and Lifetime always provide reliable/quality late night programming so I flipped the guide on over the to 50’s. Holy shit. Lifetime! You read my mind. You literally figured out what show I was interested in, and you put in on the air. Every morning at 8/8:30 a.m. and again at 2 a.m. I had no doubt before, but this truly solidified what I feared the most. Lifetime, I am your ideal, target audience.


P.S. The introduction of Cybill into Lifetime’s schedule, PROBABLY means that Lifetime  is trying to peak interest in this actress, because it plans on airing some great old MFTV’s (Martha Inc. fingers crossed) starring Ms. Shepherd. Also, potentially, hopefully some NEW ones, like THIS.

P.P.S. Moonlighting was a really great show.

One thought on “Proof That TV Gods Exist

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  1. 1) I LOVE CYBILL. And you’re right, I never put it together before but Maryann is totally our Patsy Stone.

    2) I actually own “Martha Inc”, I purchased it off of Amazon for the whopping price of $2.49, totally new and completely worth every penny of shipping.

    3) I was obsessed with “Moonlighting” to the point that now, whenever I envision CS, she’s wearing those wide boxy suits from her pregnancy days on the show. Someone once jokingly said they would probably make a Moonlighting movie and I said “You son of a bitch. Do not tease me.”

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