Post-Grammy 2010 Notes

1. Why was everyone dressed like they suddenly remembered it’s 2010 and it’s officially time to start looking like the futuristic, alien versions of ourselves? In other words, LEATHER AND ROBOTS.

2. Has Cry-Baby’s Hatchetface ALWAYS been a member of Green Day?

3. Anyone else think that this Green Day musical will be the self-important sister child of Queen’s “We Will Rock You”?

The Grammy goes to whoever waxed Lady's GaGa

4. Strip off the clothes, makeup and set-dressing and Lady Gaga is basically Christina Aguilera. Or, to paraphrase some dude on Twitter, “Lady Gaga is just Christina Aguilera if she had discovered Andy Warhol instead of assless chaps.” (I added the chaps part).

5. Why do rock and pop stars insist on massive set orchestrations? And why don’t country music stars realize they NEED massive set orchestrations if we’re not going to fall asleep? (In country music’s defense- they still do duets, which is just the level of cheese factor I’m looking for at an awards show). And, hey chick from Sugarland- unlike the rest of America, I don’t blame you for chiming in on Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer.” If it were me, they’d have to DRAG me off that stage. “I’m not going ANYWHERE. It’s like getting to sing at the top of my lungs at 2am at a Jersey wedding but instead I’m at the mo’f’ing GRAMMYS. YOU WILL MOVE ME OFF THIS STAGE OVER MY DEAD COUNTRY BODY.”

6. Taylor Swift? No. Just, no. (Stevie, this was beneath you. I was embarrassed.) All this nonsense about Taylor “writing her own songs,” as if that justifies her being a decent pop-country singer with FAR too many accolades to her name. I have a journal from 10th grade. If I make an album about it, will you shower me with awards too?

Hi, we're Kings of Leon and we don't know what we just won either.

7. Why are we still calling it “Record” of the Year? Because Grammy just can’t get over how funny it is when we ordinary folk at home turn to each other and ask, “Wait. Is record an album? A single? I don’t get it. Wait. It has to be a single. Right? That’s not the name of the album. Right? Oh, who cares. At least Taylor Swift didn’t win this one.”

8. I don’t care if Pink already “did this” at the VMAs. SHE IS SINGING LIVE WHILE UPSIDE DOWN. This is the performance-equivalent of Louis CK’s rant against people who complain about the Internet service on AIRPLANES. Jesus. Sorry she wasn’t thrown into a vat and re-appeared with dirt on her face. SINGING LIVE WHILE UPSIDE DOWN.

9. Really? CELINE DION? Really? Also, watching a 3D tribute in 2D? Lame. Unless that little girl in the rainforest suddenly pulled out a yo-yo. God, it’s like people have forgotten what 3D is all about. Is nothing sacred? (Best part of this is that Liz was convinced she had spotted Jennifer Hudson at Costco, in Chicago mind you, earlier that day. When she showed up on stage for the MJ tribute, Liz conceded it must not’ve been her. “People, I CANNOT perform at the Grammy’s without my Kirkland Almonds. Fine. FINE. I’LL JUST GET THEM MYSELF.”)

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2 thoughts on “Post-Grammy 2010 Notes

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  1. Thank you for being bolder in your assessment of Taylor Swift than I was. I did go on a serious rant about it last night where my Mother accused me of being jealous and I think it made me re-visit such thoughts. But after seeing you affirm all of this I know I’m not crazy. Also she’s NOT country. at all.
    ughhh

  2. Playing catch-up… it WAS beneath Stevie but at least she held her shite together as the vanilla scoop of Taylor’s Swift got served then melted before our very eyes.

    What a twat. My 16 year old niece (knowing my love for Stevie) had the nerve to ask me if I didn’t have new found respect for Tay Sway after that. As if it were some honor to her flat ass that Stevie even showed up.

    And Jaci, if your mother isn’t 16, there’s really no excuse.

    Mmkay, done.

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