Guys, I have finally gotten to a point where I feel like I can watch hard things. Now, some adults (other white people, mostly) like to applaud themselves for doing hard things like… I don’t know, learning to love their bodies with ten extra pounds or teaching their kids not to be racist.
Me? I just want to be able to watch hard things. My threshold for drama has become exceedingly low as I’ve gotten older. I’ve never seen Breaking Bad because I don’t like shows where I don’t have anyone to root for. I probably won’t ever watch The Wire because I’m pretty sure it’ll bum me out hard about poverty and corruption and the state of the actual world. Walking Dead, too gross. I’ve steered clear of Game of Thrones because I’ve already been duped by a high profile show that appears to know where it’s going but actually doesn’t have a fucking clue and also likes to kill beloved characters at whim and that show was Lost and we’re not doing that ever again.
But it’s become a problem now because there are so many shows I want to root for. I made it through a season of Justified because Westerns are awesome and I’m so glad I did before I got distracted and forgot about it completely. Justin Theroux? Love him. Come at me Leftovers, let’s do this- oh, is the show over now and I don’t need to pretend I watch it anymore? Got it. Next… oh! There’s SJP! I love SJP and I love anyone from the cast of Wings. (I see you Tim Daly on Madame Secretary which I’ve only ever seen when I’m at my parents house for the weekend, in those weird final minutes before I give up and go to bed at nine. I see you.) So today, I’m proud to say that I watched the first episode of Divorce, a very dramatic and very grown-up show which I know is important because famous comedians are acting seriously in it and also I can already tell I’m going to love all of SJP’s coats.
Except I’m not because my beloved Lowell finished a first episode with a bone-chilling, realistic, horrifying indictment of marriage and it was so cruel and terrible that I’m sure people who are way more evolved than I am loved it. I’m sorry. I tried.
I’ll keep trying.