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Archive for the ‘Burn Notice’ Category

Sweet, delicious joy! The only kind of joy directly related to cable TV shows. First Leverage and now Burn Notice is back on USA, starting tonight at 10/9c. By the end of winter, I am going to be one kick-ass spy/thief. All I’m sayin’. 

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by Judi

I always start freaking out this time of year. Season Finales are playing out and I’m forced to wonder if the summer’s slim programming means I’m going to have to spend time OUTDOORS. Not happening. Do you know how annoying it is to put on sunscreen? Super annoying.

Five Reasons Not To Panic That The TV Season is Officially Over

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1) The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien starts June 1 on NBC. Jay Leno’s reign of terror gets a brief hiatus before he starts attacking us earlier in the evening.

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2) Burn Notice returns June 4th on USA. The bad news is that it’s a cable series which means it’ll end after about two months and we’ll be back in the same leaky TV boat that we’re in right now.

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3) Royal Pains premieres on June 4th, also on USA. The cable network tends to be hit-or-miss in the programming department (hit: Burn Notice, Monk, Psych– miss: Law & Order: Criminal Intent, by far the worst Law & Order of them all. Although I do get a good laugh whenever I see those promos where Jeff Goldblum¬† strikes a pose next to his lady partner) but kudos for hiring “Hey, it’s THAT guy!” for the lead and “Hey, it’s that guy from Road Trip and nothing else!” as his sidekick.

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4) Raising the Bar on June 8th on TNT, aka Zack Morris’ Hair- What Will It Be This Time?

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5) Leverage also on TNT (airing in the all-too-vague “Sometime this summer” zone)- possibly the best “doing the dishes” show from last year. Fun and you can totally watch it while doing something useful, ie the dishes. Unlike some other shows (I’m looking at you, Lost. High-maintenance much?)

Now, if you really want to be depressed about the summer schedule, click here. I’m warning you, though. It’s really, really depressing. You might not recover from it.

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We just had a serious email conversation about his shock that Gabrielle Anwar from Burn Notice is none other than Sonora from Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken.11-wild-hearts-can-t-be-broken_imagelarge

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Lee’s take:
She must’ve had plastic surgery on her cheeks and lips. If she says “I never cry” to Michael, it’ll be the happiest moment of my life.

At which point, I had to remind him that Wild Hearts was made EIGHTEEN YEARS AGO and then I had to crawl into the fetal position over that little revelation.

On a somewhat related note, what the hell happened to this guy?

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– JUDI

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That was awesome (And by THAT I mean Burn Notice’s season finale which was, if you missed it the first time in this paragraph, AWESOME). Ok, so great, all my cable shows are ending for their “season.” Since when do the powers that be just deem seasons whenever they want? I’m talking to you, USA Network.¬† Two months of episodes does not a season make. I guess I have to start watching In Plain Sight now, are you happy? Oh, was that the point? Touche USA. These colors don’t run indeed.

On a geeky sidenote, I am DYING for a Mythbusters devoted to Michael’s little exploits. Can you really rig your house to blow using Christmas lights and non-dairy creamer? I have to know. (Ugh, this isn’t the first time I thought about Mythbusters today. The first time was during my very very favorite Bones rerun “Aliens in a Spaceship” where they hotwire the cell phone to the horn of a car to send a text message underground. I need to go outside I think. Maybe buy a frisbee.)

– Judi

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Donal Logue is in “Sneakers”? Ben Kingsley is in “Sneakers”? Dharma Finklestein Montgomery’s real-life husband is in “Sneakers”? Danny from the “West Wing” and the world’s worst brother-in-law from “Field of Dreams”? The First Lady from “Independence Day” who thinks the stripper is a ballet dancer? This one chick who was in, um, EVERYTHING (including every show in the early ’90s and “Malibu Shores”, oh my God) and seriously needs to be honored with some kind of lifetime achievement award by now. Yes, you-

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News flash. Everyone who had a SAG card in 1992 is in “Sneakers”. It’s like a character actor BONANZA in my house right now. I’ve never had to refer to IMDB so many times in a one-hour period in my life.

Also, in an unrelated note, it’s kind of hard to watch a movie about spy geniuses when they’re stumped by how to get past a key-card access lock. I’m just saying. Michael Westen is laughing his ass off right now.

– Judi

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– Lost: Love that Desmond named his kid Charlie. That kid Faraday (Maggie Gyllenhaal’s fiance from Secretary, aka the the twitchiest actor EVER) is really starting to get on my nerves. I get it, brainy people are very nervous and stutter a lot but do you see how infuriating it is to watch this for a full hour? Also, I swear to God, Lost execs, if you do anything to Desmond and Penny I will, um, say something really nasty about you on the Interweb.

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– Roseanne on Nickelodeon: God, I love the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” episode, even if Mariel Hemingway dances like a retarded chicken at the gay club. Also, was it really necessary to name the club Lips? It’s filled with lesbians, we get it. Why don’t you just name it “Vagina?”

– Wings: That episode where Brian almost marries that random, crazy lady in the airplane? Were you people on coke while writing that episode? First Antonio sighting, however, that was exciting. Also, this is the best Myspace profile EVER.

– I forgot to watch Fringe AGAIN. I guess that’s over.

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– High School Musical is filled with so many gay kids and why am I the only person disturbed that Ashley Tisdale wants to play the romantic lead in the school musical opposite her super gay brother? Also, thank you Netflix for not delivering my DVDs in clear plastic otherwise I would’ve been super embarrassed about putting HSM on the old queue. I think someone over there used to work for the porn mag industry…

– Burn Notice: Thanks for the new episode especially since FOX is trying to ruin my life by spacing new Bones episodes about three weeks apart (ARGH). You might want to retool a few things though. This show is not as good as it used to be (still way better than Psych though, sorry Dad.)

The one on Brett's right- her crotch is totally itching up a storm right now.

The one on Brett's right- her crotch is totally itching up a storm right now.

– It’s been three years and I still want Beal to audition for Rock of Love: Chlamydia Tour of Love.

-Judi

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