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Archive for the ‘Gilmore Girls’ Category

Oh, snow. You crafty bastard. Always using your wiles in the most inconvenient ways. You show yourself at the most inopportune times, blanketing our fake towns in fluffy white mush (that is CLEARLY not real snow), stranding our favorite fictional characters in cars and cabins and forcing dramatic, and sometimes hilarious, confrontations. You are cold, you are ruthless, you are unforgiving.

Keep up the good work.

5. My Boys “Madder of Degrees” (2009)

Ok, so TECHNICALLY this episode of the cable series is about what happens when a heatwave hits during a typically brutal Chicago winter but, in this case, I think it works since the absence of snow, really, is the device used here. Also, it’s -5 in Chicago right now and the very notion of a day when it’s suddenly warm enough to wear SHORTS and eat ICE CREAM makes me want to recite all of the episode’s lines by memory. I mean, it’s so cold that you actually have a moment, while walking outside, where you wonder if maybe you should just give up, if you should just lie down on the snowy sidewalk and let the cold take you. You wish for death, basically. I’m not even kidding. That’s how cold it is right now.

So yes, when PJ states that a warm day during a Chicago winter leads to 24 hours of temporary INSANITY, believe her. It’s the truth. Chicago winter will make you do insane things. Like spontaneously getting a super-nice condo with the guy you’ve only been dating for three months. Or getting a dog. And a Jeep. With no windows.

4. How I Met Your Mother “Three Days of Snow” (2009)

I just re-read the description of what happens in this episode and am amazed, once more, by how much plot HIMYM can cram into 22 minutes of air time. Basically, it boils down to Ted and Barney getting to man the bar in a blizzard (which goes great, “it’s THE DREAM”, until it’s overrun by college kids), Lily having a bunch of hilarious run-ins with her old car service driver Rajit at the airport, and Robin and Marshall stuck in the classic “It’s snowing really hard so of course let’s get stuck in our car” device. Does this ever actually happen in real life? Or is this a result of all these television episodes being written in Los Angeles, where a dude in a Hawaiian shirt sits at his desk, trying to guess how snow must feel and what it’s like when it actually falls from the sky. “People must get trapped in their cars ALL THE TIME,” he mutters to himself and reaches for another Corona Light. Yeah, I thought so.

3. Gilmore Girls “Love and War and Snow” (2000)

It’s hard to imagine a list about snow without mentioning Lorelai Gilmore. Lorelai loves snow, to the point that she can SENSE when the first snowfall of the season is coming, dragging everyone (her daughter, her boyfriend at the time) out into the middle of Stars Hollow to enjoy the first flakes. She’s crazy. About SNOW. (God, I’m tired.)

Anyway. Though there is a lovely episode in later seasons where Lorelai and Luke battle over whether snow is the most magical thing on Earth or just a royal pain in the ass (culminating in Lorelai getting all grumpy about her former BFF snow and Luke feeling bad so he builds her an ICE RINK on her front lawn. He really would’ve gotten the prize for Best Boyfriend Over 35 Ever if he hadn’t, you know, hid a secret daughter from his girlfriend for two months.) I prefer the Season 1 episode, where a snowstorm forces Rory’s adorable teacher/would-be boyfriend of Lorelai to stay the night with the Gilmores. If only for Rory, who gets to display a LOT of awkward small-talk with her TEACHER who woke up IN HER HOUSE the next morning.

2. Alias “Cipher” 2002

Let’s all agree to pretend that 1) the last season of Alias didn’t exist and 2) Season 2 of JJ Abrams’ spy show is seriously fantastic. “Cipher” is one of my favorites, with Sid’s near-death experience once of her most harrowing, involving Siberia, some thin ice, an ICE CAVE and a creepy music box.  The ending succeeds with a nasty cliffhanger. Just watch.

1. Taxi “Scenskees From a Marriage (Parts 1 & 2)” 1982


Back to the old “car stranded in the snow” routine! This time there’s SEX involved. Hol-ler! Latka is sent out to rescue a female cabbie who’s trapped in the snow. Unfortunately, he gets trapped with her and that whole “body heat” thing comes into play. So, yeah, Latka gets lucky, his wife Simca is pissed and their only solution (clearly) is for Simca to now have sex with one of Latka’s friends. Alex. Resulting in one of the show’s best lines ever- “Now peel me like a grape so I can get out of here.”

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by Judi

Show: Gilmore Girls

Great Moment: Luke and Lorelai hit their first town meeting as a couple and get an unwelcome surprise as their relationship is apparently the hot-button issue AT the town meeting. There is little better on this earth than witnessing Luke spazz out at Taylor, the resident gestapo of Stars Hallow.

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by Judi

Here’s a question before we begin. Why didn’t some enterprising genius ever figure out a way to create actual restaurants based on these iconic TV hangouts? Do you even KNOW how much money would’ve been made from situating a real Peach Pit in Beverly Hills in the ’90s? SCADS OF MONEY, YES. I mean, think about how many tourists make their way to my #1 pick in Boston every year (and if you’re from Boston or been there, how many times have you heard the phrase “It doesn’t look the same on the inside though.” So make it look the same, Cheers! What the hell? Is that so hard? Why must you insist on disappointing millions of fans who just want the pleasure of sitting on Cliff’s stool while they take a break from their sixth time on the Freedom Trail (hi, Dad).)

SCADS OF MONEY. All right, I’m done now.

5. The Crashdown Cafe from Roswell (1999-2002)

RoswellCrashdown.JPG

It just occurred to me that, based on my not mentioning it here very often, you might not grasp the depth of my love for the short-lived WB show Roswell (starring Katherine Heigl, Booth’s brother from Bones, Claire from Lost and COLIN HANKS THAT’S RIGHT). That’s just… unacceptable. No, no. It’s not your fault- it’s all mine. I accept full responsibility but I’m going to remedy it now.

I LOVE(D) Roswell.

The Crashdown is owned by main character Liz’s family and she’s a waitress there, along with her best friend Maria, and sometimes it seems like ALL they do is waitress there, like, shouldn’t you be in school? The Crashdown is awesome because it’s a total tourist trap of a restaurant in this alien-tourist trap of a desert New Mexico town and sets the stage for many fantastical alien-human related moments, the capper being- this is where Liz gets shot in the pilot episode, prompting strange alien-boy Max (played by slouchy-shouldered Jason Behr) to heal her, exposing his big ‘ol secret. It’s also where Michael and Maria get it on for the first time, everyone gets ready for the prom, mourns Alex, and where Isabelle uses her alien skills to reheat a cold burger.

4. Luke’s from Gilmore Girls (2000-2007)

Luke's

Another show that I don’t mention NEARLY enough in its proportion to how much I love it. Actually, my whole family is so bonkers for Gilmore Girls that even my BROTHER sent me an email asking me if Rory’s boyfriend Logan from Gilmore Girls is the guy in I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell (ie the movie that is destroying my soul. And yes, it’s him. Shudder.) And my mother almost got arrested on the WB studio lot for sneaking her camera in to take pictures of- you guessed it- Luke’s Diner. (That’s not her picture though.)

Luke’s Diner is such a Big Deal on the show that when Lorelai and her on-again-off-again beau Luke have a fight, she’s not allowed to go to there- which is basically detrimental to her life. Both Lorelai and Rory hit Luke’s at least once if not twice a day, Laine and her boyfriend-then-husband Zack work there, Zack PROPOSED there, sometimes Lorelai sets up an office from there (to Luke’s constant irritation), and of course, there’s the crusty proprietor of the same name who turned the once-hardware-store, owned by his dad, into a diner after he died. Apparently, the coffee’s the best in town and the burgers are even better. It’s completely fictional and yet I want both, immediately, right now.

3. The Peach Pit from Beverly Hills 90210 (1990-2000)

peach-pit

I want to reiterate- if there were a real Peach Pit, I would’ve gone EVERY DAY when I lived in Los Angeles. What’s not to love? It’s like Johnny Rockets with a DASH of authenticity AND there’s a SUPER COOL nightclub next door. Because when I think of diner, I don’t think of pickles and coleslaw- NO. I think of going into a club where I could possibly hear Donna Lewis sing a kicky of-the-moment song, where Valerie will run the place even though she’s like 21 years old and when I was 21 years old, I could barely function let alone run a night club, where Kelly will get drunk on red wine and freak out because she dropped her super-secret engagement ring, forcing the tool who’s been hitting on her to deem her TOO MUCH EFFORT because she dropped a diamond ring on the floor and was kind of nervous about it.

As for the Pit itself, it was the scene for many a-confrontation, Brenda dressed up like a ’50s cartoon character to work there, Brandon worked there, everyone thought Nat was “part of the gang” and Donna Martin flashed her navel so many times, they should’ve erected a statue of her belly shirts in the corner.

2. The Max from Saved By the Bell (1989-1993)

Douche Canoe wearing "The Max" T-shirt

Douche Canoe in "The Max" T-Shirt

Where did you hang out after school? If it was between 1989 and 1993 and your last name was Morris, Slater, Powers, Turtle, Kapowski, or Spano, then chances are you were in the place where Color Went to Die. Where the owners/head waiters do strange impressions and magic tricks for your amusement or will impersonate your dad in the principal’s office so you can go on the ski trip. Where Casey Kasem hosts a dance contest for some reason. Where we all learn a valuable lesson about playing your song, the one you shared with your waitress ex-girlfriend who cheated on you with a 34 year old soap star, and how dancing with another girl in front of her is really hurtful. Where Hot Sundae performed to a crowd of maybe 15 people. Where they turned Slater into the Human Exclamation Point for this CLASSIC scene:

1. Cheers from Cheers (1982-1993)

CheersBar

Awww. Thanks to Cheers, we all grew up wishing we could someday find a place where “everybody knows our name.” Some of us are still looking for it (pause for single, dramatic tear). Who doesn’t want to open a cheerful Boston pub and see your friends everyday as they pour beer money into your waiting pockets and supply you with plenty of laughs and their fair share of crazy-pants. Add a cranky pint-sized waitress, a long-winded mailman, a portly regular named Norm, a dim-witted bartender named Woody and a snooty blonde in an apron and you’ve got yourself the most beloved faux-hangout of all time.

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by Judi

Show: Gilmore Girls

Character: Paris Geller

Played By: Liza Weil

Basically: The show Gilmore Girls kicked off its pilot episode with Lorelai Gilmore’s brainy sixteen-year-old daughter Rory getting accepted into essentially the most terrifying, formidable private school in Connecticut (forcing Lorelai to go to her estranged blue-blood parents for financial help in paying the equally formidable tuition but that’s another story). On her very first day, fresh-faced and eager for some book learnin’, Rory encounters Paris, the Tracy Flick of Chilton if Tracy Flick had been off her meds for some time. We first see Paris hiding underneath a windowsill outside the headmaster’s office with her two slutty friends Madeline and Louise, where she snatches the “new girl’s” transcripts and pores over the file, trying to guage just how much of a threat this Rory Gilmore will be to Paris’ plans to be the most brilliant and successful Chilton graduate in the school’s history. Later in the season, when Rory is having trouble catching up, Paris sidles up behind her before their huge English test and gives what has to be the most threatening, sinister Shakespearean monologue in high school history. She then leans in and whispers, “You’re going down.” She’s not playing around, people. Over the course of the show’s seven season run, Rory and Paris would be enemies then sort-of-friends then friends then college roommates and always, always intellectual rivals.

Love Fest: I believe we can classify Paris’ personality as Type F’n A. High strung to the point of insanity. While in high school, Paris is a bully and a manipulator but then little bits of her home life trickle in and damn it if we don’t start to feel sorry for her. Basically ignored by her feuding parents and raised by a doting Porteguese nanny named, well, Nanny (Paris is fluent in Portguese, we discover, only adding to our affection for her), she’s a lonely girl at heart, nothing hitting it home more so when a cute college boy named Jamie takes an interest in her and Paris can’t wrap her brain around why.  Paris only wants to get into Harvard where all Gellers have gone and she’ll let nothing stand in her way. Unfortunately, this means that sometimes she goes CRAZY in the process, her singular focus causing her to lose her marbles completely. Take her anger management issues (manifesting itself in her hiring a life coach and then becoming obsessed with crafts). Take the Yale Daily News. When she’s elected editor in college, she slowly turns the paper into a dictatorship- first, no one is allowed to speak. Then, everyone must wear a hat with a number on it so she doesn’t have to learn anyone’s name. Soon, she’s writing every piece herself. Then, the paper starts to fall apart, the staff discusses mutiny and what is Paris doing? She’s constructed a BUNKER out of NEWSPAPER in the middle of the newsroom where she sits at a little desk, muttering to herself about having to do everything herself. It’s like A Beautiful Mind, the CW version. CRAZY PANTS. And as a side note, I don’t know why the TV Powers That Be haven’t found another role for Liza Weil yet but someone should seriously get on that immediately.

Favorite Moments: Oh, boy. Paris is super sharp, super funny with some of the best, most biting lines on the show. A few of my favorites:

– Paris and Rory run into their Yale dorm, soaking wet from a rainstorm outside. A girl passes them.

Girl: Is it raining?

Paris: No, it’s National Baptism Day. Get your tubes tied, idiot!

– Paris has been having an affair with her very old college professor (played by Basil Exposition from Austin Powers). When Rory calls, Paris tells her that the professor has died. Rory worries that he died while they were having sex.

Rory: It wasn’t- I mean, he didn’t, you know, during-

Paris: No, Rory. This great man wasn’t brought down by my vagina.

– But this is by far my favorite. After four years of working herself to the bone, Paris doesn’t get into Harvard. Unfortunately, her rejection letter coincides with her having sex with her boyfriend for the first time and also, um, her having to give a speech with Rory on CSPAN for Chilton’s big centennial celebration. It does not go well.

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