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Archive for the ‘Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman’ Category

by Judi

Clearly, living in LA for four years has its benefits.

5. Jessie Katsopolis’s Dad (John Aprea) from Full House

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I remember watching an award show once. Julia Roberts won for something, it must’ve been Erin Brockovich. And she climbs up on stage to receive it and then has a momentary freak-out because Beau Bridges (BEAU BRIDGES) is presenting it to her. I think she even said something like, “Oh my God, it’s Beau Bridges.” And everyone was like really? You’re JULIA ROBERTS. You hang out with George Clooney and Brad Pitt regularly, you’ve met EVERYONE and you freak out over Beau Bridges? What was the last thing Beau Bridges was in, can you even remember? (For the record, I’m so with you, Julia, who is clearly reading this. I once thought I saw Beau Bridges on a flight and almost had a heart attack. He is, after all, the dad from The Wizard).

So here’s my theory. Sometimes, it’s not the fame of the actor you spot in real life, in “the wild” you might say, but what you remember them from. As in, I was walking to work down Robertson Blvd. one day and passed Uncle Jesse’s dad in Full House and I. lost. my. mind. The Julia Roberts- Beau Bridges theory is the only excuse I can muster for my COMPLETELY illogical reaction. I almost attacked him on the sidewalk, such was my joy.

4. Lex Luthor (John Shea) from Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman

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This one was funny. My brother was visiting me. We were in my car, driving through an alley in Santa Monica when LEX LUTHOR steps out from the shadows and walks in front of us. And it was so embarrassing too because I think our jaws dropped at the same time and he turned to look at us, two gaping buffoons, and then smirked and kept walking. On his way to the Farmer’s Market. Lex Luthor wants some fresh produce and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.

3. Michael Guerin/Jared Booth (Brendan Fehr) from Roswell/Bones

brendan-fehr-010When I moved to LA, my roommate/soon-to-be-best-friend (hi Bic!) and I spent the majority of our time dealing with living on a new planet (and yes, LA is its own planet. Make no mistake) by hiding in our new apartment and watching hours and hours and hours of Roswell. I think over the course of our tenure as roommates, we’ve watched those DVDs 7,000 times. So when I (finally) got a job in the Star Corridor (the corner of Beverly Blvd. and Robertson Blvd., home of a Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf AND a Starbucks across the street from each other, “we met at Starbucks but different Starbucks”) and saw brooding alien Michael Guerin walking across the street, right next to my human body, I almost fell into traffic. I pulled my ass to the corner, called Bic and proceeded to hyperventilate. Over the course of my years in LA, I would see a number of other Roswell cast members- Maria in that Coffee Bean, Tess (you may know her as Claire from Lost) and Alex (Colin Hanks) at Coachella and, yes, my reaction was the same every time. Complete and utter meltdown.

2. Chanandelor Bong (Matthew Perry) from Friends (twice!)

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Speaking of the Star Corridor, Matthew Perry clearly has some kind of caffeine addiction. I saw him for the first time at the Starbucks, notable because I was on the phone with my mother at the time who got VERY excited and then said, “Tell him I’m watching Friends right NOW! It’s the one where he proposes to Monica.” Like I was capable of movement, much less approaching him and handing him a cell phone with my mother chattering on the other end about his tearful proposal. More likely, I would’ve gone up to him and told him that his episode of Growing Pains basically traumatized me for life, thanks a lot.

The SECOND time was at The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (yup, right across the street. Chandler, like me, is not partial to just one massive coffee chain) and, to my everlasting joy, Bic had met me for a coffee break on her way back from either another dreadful temp job or a depressing interview. We both stood by the counter, waiting for our coffees, and Matthew Perry stood next to us ordering. We conversed THE ENTIRE TIME, mindlessly talking as we both tried not to stare at him. Finally, he left, we sat down and we looked at each other. What the hell were we talking about? She was saying things, I was saying things- she could’ve been talking about elephants and my response could’ve been about arugula. And now we’ll never know.

1. David Addison (Bruce Willis) from Moonlighting

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Ah yes, the car sighting. One of my favorites because of the sheer skill involved. Cars, after all, move pretty fast and you’ve got to be able to get a good look and confirm quickly. It’s also good if you’re either alone (so no one can dispute it) or the glimpse is substantial enough that you get immediate confirmation from the other party as well, lest you have a “George Michael on the 405” incident (Bic saw him, I didn’t but it didn’t stop us from stalking him in traffic for forty minutes) or a humiliating “Simon Rex in a LeBaron” moment which my friends will STILL not let me live down (it was him, I swear. I want those words on my tombstone. Also, their primary argument is that Simon Rex would not drive a LeBaron and I think that’s PRECISELY why it was Simon Rex. Come on.)

The Bruce Willis Sighting is my all-time favorite sighting of all time. I was driving through Westwood one day, in a residential area and pulled up to a stop sign to make a left turn. The car opposite me, a black Mercedes, had also stopped. I waited for it to leave so I could make my left but the car just STOPS in the middle of the intersection. I then realize that the car stopped because the driver was watching a leggy blonde in a sports bra jog across the street, like actually just watching her bounce along. I’m seriously irritated now and just about to lay on the horn when the driver turns to me, smirks, and it’s Bruce Fucking Willis. I just about shat in my pants, SHAT WITH A VENGEANCE.

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When I lived in LA, I saw celebrities, yes. It’s a little like if you were the zookeeper’s kid and people were always asking you if you ever saw any animals and you were all, “They just like walk around my house! It’s BANANAS.”

Seeing Bruce Willis in the wild is also bananas. Even more insane is your reaction to people that no one else even recognizes. The people who never became big stars but were in movies and TV shows that you watched as a kid (or as an awkward adult). Let me just tell you, there is a huge difference in your physical reaction to these people. Mainly, the unexplainable freak out. The reaction that either endears you to your friends or causes them to suggest psychiatric treatment.

My biggest LA freak outs

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Uncle Jessie’s Dad from “Full House.” Not even a regular cast member and I FLIPPED MY SHIT.

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Lex Luthor from “Lois and Clark.” Awesomely, my brother was with me for that one. He walked in front of my car in Santa Monica and I don’t know whose jaw dropped faster. There MAY have been some inappropriate screeching.

Anaksunamoon from The Mummy Returns- yes, that’s right. I flipped out. It is not normal to see a mummy at a Starbucks on Robertson Blvd. In this case, my freak out was completely out of proportion, considering I have never seen this chick in anything else. Whatever, I love The Mummy.

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Pretty Much the Entire Cast of Roswell- Or rather Michael, Tess, Alex (Colin Hanks) and Maria (twice). I was so excited to see Michael that I almost shoved him into traffic. That would’ve been a sad ending to the story.

Freak Out By Proxy

– I probably scared Beal when she told me she accidentally had dinner with Brenda from Adventures in Babysitting. If I had dinner with Brenda, it would be the first thing I bring up in conversation NOT AN AFTERTHOUGHT. I’m clearly still upset about it.

Judi

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My friend Michael and I have this thing about Mary Alice on Desperate Housewives, a show that I haven’t watched since the end of its first season. I do not miss it. The only acceptable reason to have Teri Hatcher anywhere near your TV set is if an old episode of “Lois & Clark” is on. Don’t even get me started on Eva Longoria Who Gives A Shit Parker. I care even less about Eva Longoria than I do about “Who will be the next American Idol.” And that’s saying something…

HAVING SAID THAT, Mary Alice has always been a great source of unintentional humor for us. I LOVE her voice. I LOVE the completely unnecessary narration. “Susan looked at Mike and wondered if he was thinking the same thing she was.” (Ugh.  God forbid we depend on actors to sell what’s happening on screen by themselves.)

Nothing brings us more joy than this video. Oh, Sue Ellen Mishky. They were throwing you such a bone here and you took it and ran with it like it was your very own Emmy. There are layers and layers to this simple Behind The Scenes look. It should not make me laugh so hard but it does. When I die and we have that “Defending Your Life” moment when they’re showing examples of what an ass hat I was, they will show me and Michael giggling over this video about seventy times.

It’s just… it’s all so completely unnecessary. What’s next? A Behind the Scenes look at how Felicity Huffman reads her scripts? “First, I pick up the script. Then, I grab a highlighter. Then I call Aaron Sorkin and beg him to save me. Then I cry and remember that once this show is over I can finally move on to being an enormously talented movie star like I deserve. Then I read a few lines.”

A few favorite moments

– When Sue Ellen compares what she does, a mundane voice over, to an opera singer.

– “I get to play with everybody.” Sure you do, honey. Sure you do.

– That paddle. You know those sound operators have a secret one that reads things like “Sad.” and “Your Turn to Wipe Her Tears.”

– Sue Ellen worries that taking off her shoes will ruin the take. To this day, I don’t know what this means.

– Over and over again with this “Will he propose?” nonsense. A perfect example of why this voiceover is so awful and why Marc Cherry should just quit and think of starting up “Golden Girls 2.0” Marc Cherry does not write musically, by the way. Unless you consider that farting noise you make with your armpit music.

– Judi

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