Archive for the ‘Award Shows’ Category

1. Why was everyone dressed like they suddenly remembered it’s 2010 and it’s officially time to start looking like the futuristic, alien versions of ourselves? In other words, LEATHER AND ROBOTS.

2. Has Cry-Baby’s Hatchetface ALWAYS been a member of Green Day?

3. Anyone else think that this Green Day musical will be the self-important sister child of Queen’s “We Will Rock You”?

The Grammy goes to whoever waxed Lady's GaGa

4. Strip off the clothes, makeup and set-dressing and Lady Gaga is basically Christina Aguilera. Or, to paraphrase some dude on Twitter, “Lady Gaga is just Christina Aguilera if she had discovered Andy Warhol instead of assless chaps.” (I added the chaps part).

5. Why do rock and pop stars insist on massive set orchestrations? And why don’t country music stars realize they NEED massive set orchestrations if we’re not going to fall asleep? (In country music’s defense- they still do duets, which is just the level of cheese factor I’m looking for at an awards show). And, hey chick from Sugarland- unlike the rest of America, I don’t blame you for chiming in on Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ on a Prayer.” If it were me, they’d have to DRAG me off that stage. “I’m not going ANYWHERE. It’s like getting to sing at the top of my lungs at 2am at a Jersey wedding but instead I’m at the mo’f’ing GRAMMYS. YOU WILL MOVE ME OFF THIS STAGE OVER MY DEAD COUNTRY BODY.”

6. Taylor Swift? No. Just, no. (Stevie, this was beneath you. I was embarrassed.) All this nonsense about Taylor “writing her own songs,” as if that justifies her being a decent pop-country singer with FAR too many accolades to her name. I have a journal from 10th grade. If I make an album about it, will you shower me with awards too?

Hi, we're Kings of Leon and we don't know what we just won either.

7. Why are we still calling it “Record” of the Year? Because Grammy just can’t get over how funny it is when we ordinary folk at home turn to each other and ask, “Wait. Is record an album? A single? I don’t get it. Wait. It has to be a single. Right? That’s not the name of the album. Right? Oh, who cares. At least Taylor Swift didn’t win this one.”

8. I don’t care if Pink already “did this” at the VMAs. SHE IS SINGING LIVE WHILE UPSIDE DOWN. This is the performance-equivalent of Louis CK’s rant against people who complain about the Internet service on AIRPLANES. Jesus. Sorry she wasn’t thrown into a vat and re-appeared with dirt on her face. SINGING LIVE WHILE UPSIDE DOWN.

9. Really? CELINE DION? Really? Also, watching a 3D tribute in 2D? Lame. Unless that little girl in the rainforest suddenly pulled out a yo-yo. God, it’s like people have forgotten what 3D is all about. Is nothing sacred? (Best part of this is that Liz was convinced she had spotted Jennifer Hudson at Costco, in Chicago mind you, earlier that day. When she showed up on stage for the MJ tribute, Liz conceded it must not’ve been her. “People, I CANNOT perform at the Grammy’s without my Kirkland Almonds. Fine. FINE. I’LL JUST GET THEM MYSELF.”)

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Show: The Primetime Emmy’s 2007

Great Moment: Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert announce Ricky Gervais as the Best Actor in a Comedy and, since he’s not there to receive it, give it to their old Daily Show alum buddy Steve Carrell instead, prompting the greatest Man Hug of All Time and, really, the only funny moment of the 2007 Emmy telecast.

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by Beal

CBS broadcast the 61st Annual Emmy Awards last night.  It was a three hour program with no shortage of uncomfortable acceptance speeches, annoying Kanye jokes and fast-forwarding through the lame reality TV portion (seriously Jeff Probst? “This one’s for the dreamers?” Stop it.) Neil Patrick Harris proved to be a decent host, not my favorite in Emmy history, but harmless, entertaining and as cute as a button (and did you see his boyfriend? ADORABLE). My favorite portion of the telecast (apart from several awards that pleased me which I will get to in a minute) was the old Hollywood, radio broadcast-like introduction. “Knock. Knock. Samantha Who’s there? It’s Christina Applegate. . .



The Awards

First and foremost, let me say this. Drew Barrymore was ROBBED. Grey Gardens the HBO MFTVM won Outstanding Made for Television Movie, Best Supporting Actor in a MFTVM (Ken Howard as Phelan Beale) and Best Actress (Jessica Lange as “Big” Edie Beale) in a MFTVM. Now, Grey Gardens was easily my favorite movie of the year, television and theatrical alike. It was terrific and Drew Barrymore was beyond outstanding. The thing is, if she couldn’t win, I’m so glad that her co-star, Jessica Lange did but I really, honestly feel like this was Drew’s award. Hear me out:

I don’t really watch any of the shows that were nominated in the Dramatic categories but I was rather pleased with the Comedy Awards. 30 Rock won Outstanding Comedy Series, as well it should have, Alec Baldwin won Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy series, which was no surprise being that Jack Donaghy is one of the greatest television characters of all time. As for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series, I would have liked to see Tina Fey win because I feel like she deserves it (she did win Best Comedy Series and a guest star Emmy for her role as Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Life). I also would have loved to see Christina Applegate win just to prove that Samantha Who? was canceled erroneously. And, as we all know, Mary Louise Parker is my favorite current TV actress and I would be lying if I said I didn’t love Julia Louis-Dreyfus or Sarah Silverman. When it comes down to it though, all the above actresses are hilarious and great actors  but, out of all of them, Toni Collette honestly deserved the award. She plays five characters in one show, flawlessly (and not in an awful Eddie Murphy kind of way). So, a tip of the hat to you Toni- you were up against the fiercest competition I’ve ever seen.

And this clip brings me to my final point. When and how did Justin Timberlake infiltrate my television set? Not only did he present a major award but he was also NOMINATED for THREE Emmy’s (two songs, one guest star) one of which HE WON! I mean, the guy is a talent, but seriously, shouldn’t he be relegated to the Grammy’s or something? I’m so confused.

[Updated to include: Judi’s notes in the style of Barney Stinson (How I Met Your Mother)]:

– NPH as host = awesome

– Jimmy Fallon’s prat-fall was “What up? Sweet.” (It actually made me laugh really hard but it honestly might’ve been the cheese products I consumed)

– Julia-Louis Dryfus and Amy Poehler presenting together and congratulating everyone on the “last year of network broadcast television”? Can I get a “That was genius” five? No? I’m just going to hang here ’til I do.

– Introducing presenters using their embarrassing Before-They-Were-Stars credits? Pure magic, like a fireball erupting from your sleeve and impressing every lady in the room.

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by Beal

picture_3I’m not really a huge fan of the Awards shows–Emmy’s, Oscars, Grammy’s–mostly because the entertainment industry is the only profession (apart from insurance salesmen) who make up and hand out awards for “outstanding achievement” at a constant. Don’t get me wrong, were I to star in a television program or movie, I would expect to garner the highest reward possible, and would consider my life incomplete until I did (I’m talking to you Susan Lucci).

The Emmy’s though, I can at least stomach. I have generally seen most, if not all, nominated programs, and I am usually familiar with nominated actors, which I cannot say for the Oscars, because I typically refuse to sit through feature length films when not in the privacy of my home, where a pause button allows snacks, sodas and bathroom breaks to be welcome respites instead of plot disrupting hassles. That said, I will admit, that this year’s Emmy’s stand to be pretty entertaining. The two categories I’m most excited about are (no surprise): Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series and Outstanding Made for Television Movie.

The Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series nominees list this year reads like a who’s who list of people that should audition to be my best friend. Seriously though, I feel like these are the most relevant comedic actresses on television today. I’m usually so disappointed when this category features a Desperate Housewife or someone else whose acting or comedic value is based on the popularity of the show, rather than the ability to generate laughter through skilled acting and proper comedic timing. Usually there are two actresses I think should win it, and one that I hope wins it, this year’s free for all makes me happy, and there’s no way I could pick the winner. This years nominees are:




Christina Applegate for Samantha Who

Toni Collette for United States of Tara

Tina Fey for 30 Rock

Julia Louis-Dreyfus for The New Adventures of Old Christine

Mary-Louise Parker for Weeds

Sarah Silverman for The Sarah Silverman Program

As for the Outstanding Made for Television Movie category the only three I care about are Coco Chanel, Prayers for Bobby and Grey Gardens (which I have plans to watch on Sunday evening). I must also say, that (none were nominated for movie, some actors that starred in them were nominated) television shows that smash two episodes together in one evening and call it a “movie” should not qualify for any of the awards earmarked for MFTMs. I’m talking to you Jack Bauer. I loved, loved, loved (read: cried my face off) Prayers for Bobby, and even though I haven’t watched it yet (I’ve seen the documentary, and can’t get enough of Little Edie) I think I’ll hope that Grey Gardens comes away a winner. I mean, how can an unknown gay compete with Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange (who were both nominated for their roles)? He just can’t. As for Coco Chanel, I just really love Shirley McClaine is all.

Find a complete list of Emmy Nominations here.

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